Family Ties

A get away - a holiday in Florida, just like every other year ... but not quite like all the rest.

In the past I would try to catch up with family who might be available for a visit and one person I have seen over the past couple of years is Cousin John.  John Meyerhoff is the eldest son of my mother's next oldest sister.  Aunt Margaret was the middle girl in the family.  Here we are in Punta Gorda in 2012.

This year we met at a car dealer's in Plant City, John, Mary Carol and I, and took a short road trip while his car was being worked on.

This road trip involves another cousin ... actually a 'first cousin once removed' would be the correct term.  Bob Jonsson is the son of our first cousin Richard Jonsson ... and he is the eldest son of 'our mothers' eldest sister Edna Johnson.

Bob and his wife Nancy moved to Florida this fall after retiring from 40 years of ministry. They are living about a half hour drive from Plant City ..... so I got this brain wave ... why don't John, Mary Carol and I go visit Bob and Nancy while the car gets fixed ... and that is how it worked out.




The three of us piled into my little white Kia Soul and took off for parts unknown to us all ... and had lots of fun finding Bob and Nancy.







 We determined, during the course of the visit, that we three cousins had not been TOGETHER for about 22 years ... since Bob's grandfather's 90th birthday celebration in 1993!  I don't think any of us remembered the others being there ... just that we were all there at the same event.

We had a wonderful visit ... and a great lunch while we chatted ... and eventually decided that if we didn't leave, John's car would be garaged overnight, and I would miss the shuttle back to my beachfront hotel after returning the rental car.

Lots of heavy traffic on I-4 but we got the car out of hock, filled mine with gas, filled our stomachs again with food [at Denny's restaurant], and headed to our separate homes.

Family ... what are the ties that bind?  why were we so pleased to have been able to spend time with people we hardly knew, but who we really know very well???

I don't know the answers to these questions.... just that this is what happened one wonderful day in November in Florida.

A Gift

 Inspiration comes at all hours of the day or night, from many different triggers. I went to bed and read a book which featured the verse on which this devotional thought is based.  After finishing the book and turning out the light I found these thoughts running through my mind and so got up and wrote them down, even if it was 2 o'clock in the morning!

Come to me all you who are wearied and burdened, and I will give you rest.   Matthew 11:28

Rest, sounds wonderful, doesn’t it?  No one likes being wearied and burdened, but we are.  Burdened with worry; burdened with guilt; burdened with illness; burdened with responsibility. We all know about being burdened – and burdens are like packages, big packages, that are often more than we can handle.

 Packages that trying to carry makes us weary.... weary, tired, lacking energy and umph. We all know what that is like, being too tired to make a meal, to go to a meeting or out to visit someone. It seems to me at the longer I live the more there is to do; you’d think that it should be possible to cross things off a list and not have something else move in to take it’s place.

 There are so many of us who LIKE our feelings of weariness and being burdened; well don’t we?  They can be an excuse to hibernate, or to stop working with a group, or quit a committee. “No, I don’t think that I will go out today; they can get along without me.”

 You know, it is so easy to concentrate on the description of the first YOU in this passage, and forget the “I” and “Me”. But in this passage, which addressed to all of us, Christ is speaking to each one of us directly: “Come to ME and I will give ...”

 Action is needed on our part; we can be weary, we can be burdened; but that is not to stop us from making the first move . COME to me. And if we do, what do we get? We get the Gift of Rest.   Do we ... do you ... do I ... have enough trust that I will go to the One who spoke these words and accept His gift? Or do I go to Christ,  take His gift, and keep right on being weary and burdened, because I don’t want to leave it all up to Him? I pray that you do better than I when it comes to accepting God’s Gift of Rest.

 This is when I feel the need to pray .... I come Lord with my weariness and burdens.  Help me to leave them with you and to accept the gift you offer... Rest.  Help me to relax and enjoy my life and not be running off in my mind to the next item on my agenda. Thank you for  time spent with friends.  Thank you for that Gift of Rest.  Amen

LIFE

Life is an opportunity, benefit from it. Life is a beauty, admire it. Life is a dream, realize it. Life is a challenge, meet it. Life is a duty, complete it. Life is a game, play it. Life is a promise, fulfill it. Life is sorrow, overcome it. Life is a song, sing it. Life is a struggle, accept it. Life is a tragedy, confront it. Life is an adventure, dare it. Life is luck, make it. Life is life, fight for it!  - Mother Teresa

Life ... has recently brought me a game leg ... and the past week has been most interesting...

I fell last Thursday, and according to the specialist I saw last weekend, partially tore the quad ligament in my right thigh, resulting in a brace that will not stay put, to be worn day and night, less the 10 minutes spent in the shower.

The world has rallied, and the door revolves as people come and go ... the list grows of people wanting to do something when there is little to ask of them to do ... there is only so much garbage to go out, letters to mail, etc. This has certainly made me realize how many people are connected to me in positive ways ... are my friends!

I sit and visit as the room fills and another tea party is in progress ... or a pie party, or a luncheon [when someone asks if they can bring lunch, I say ‘only if yours comes too, and we can eat together’] .... yes ... Life.

One never knows what Life will bring, nor how what is brought will be accepted ... but it is wonderful to know that through it all God is with me and caring for me, through Life ... through Friends.

Education Changes

With a granddaughter taking a B.Ed. and needing data for a "Family Tree Education Snapshot", lots of memories came back as I wrote this for her. The request came to me in the form of questions to be answered.  The questions are in bold below.

  "Family Tree Education Snapshot"

A bit of background so you can understand some of the other influences in my education, and education choices. As you know, both my parents were born in England, where those of middle class and higher sent their children to a private school [actually called public school], partly as a symbol of status, and partly because, in general, it was thought that the teaching and so education was better. These schools, of course, were for either boys or girls, not mixed.

Charles and Norah Wayman, my parents

My father came from a large family where children left home about the age of 12 to take up jobs ... housework for the girls, apprenticeships for the boys. My mother had come to the USA about the age of 7, the youngest of three girls. Her parents had sent her to a Catholic School, rather than the local school, because of the segregation, I am sure, rather than the religious aspect, as neither grandparent was Catholic.

Thus when it was time to educate their daughters in Toronto, my parents were quite agreed on private school education from KINDERGARTEN up ...prior to this we had attended the Mothercraft nursery school and the pre-kindergarten at Mrs Taylor’s home on the corner. Unusual as it was in those days, I had a working mother, and this allowed her to work while we were cared for.


What was important to teach at the time?
I am really not sure what you mean by this, but the three Rs were definitely the top of the heap. We did the ‘Dick and Jane’ books which would have been sight-reading, memorized times tables and poetry, had spelling and arithmetic ‘bees’.

School was started each morning by gathering in the gym for ‘Prayers’ ... which consisted of singing a hymn, a scripture reading, and reciting the Lord’s Prayer. Then there were announcements, and sometimes these might be in the form of a skit. Occasionally there would be someone playing a piano solo or singing.


What influenced school attendance?
As I was driven to school every day by my father until I was in Grade 7 or 8, shall I answer "my parents!" There really was no option or choice ... everyone went to school.

How accessible schooling was when you were younger?
Very ... all the kids in my city neighbourhood went to the local schools.

What were the goals of schooling?
To get an education, and so a good job.

How important was post-elementary and post secondary schooling?
Very ... There was no question of not going to High School, whether it was at the Collegiate or the Technical school, or the Commercial School. I had friends at all ... Collegiate, of course gave you entrance to university, while the Technical school was more likely to fit you for a trade, and the High School of Commerce taught bookkeeping, shorthand, etc. There were few schools like Sheridan and Seneca to go to after High School. If you wanted to be a nurse, you went to a hospital to train; if you wanted to be a teacher, you went to Normal School or Teachers’ College to train. To be an X-ray technician like Aunt Lois, you went to a hospital x-ray department [she was at Sick Kids’ Hospital in Toronto]. For office workers, there was a stream in the Collegiates where you could take commercial courses in addition to, or in lieu of the regular courses. I went to East York Collegiate after I completed my Grade 13 to take a one year Special Commercial Course as my parents deemed I was too young to go to Teachers’ College at 17.

What role did finances, class, gender and other determining factors play in terms of who attended school?
I would say that I came from an upper middle class family ... money was not a real worry until my father took sick and the business he owned and operated was sold to someone who bought it to run it to bankruptcy, and not fulfill the orders on the books ... and possibly not cover all the payments. This was about the time I was in Teachers’ College. Most of the girls I had gone to school with went on to university, nursing or teaching. By the 1960s it seemed that more and more young people were being told that University was the way to go. There was still an expectation that girls would marry young, but not as much that they would not be able to work after they were married, which was more the case 20 years before me. Your great-grandmother Susan [Pike] Burkholder was also a teacher and she had to stop teaching when she married gr-grpa Cliff Burkholder. She was 29 when she was married.

I was also just wondering what it was like growing up learning in a private school as well as the difference in getting your B.Ed?
Remember, I cannot tell you what it was like NOT to learn in a private school ... I spent only one year, at the end of my schooling, and then Teachers’ College in a school other than a private school. It was school ... we had friends, cliques, fights, fun like there is with any group of students. There, of course, was not sexual rivalry ... boys against girls, I mean. But, I also did not learn how to behave around, or interact with the opposite sex ... they were really outside my life until Youth Group at church when I was about 15.

You also asked about getting my B.Ed. I don’t have a Bachelor of Education ... I never did go to University. With Grade 13 and a one year course at Toronto Teachers’ College, I was let loose on those unsuspecting students of SS#12 Whitchurch ... all 45 of them, and I was 19 years old, the only teacher in the school. There was an inspector from the department of Education who came around occasionally, there was a minister who came in to teach Religion and me to teach EVERYTHING else, as well as supervise recesses and lunch hours, organize a Christmas Concert and so on. This was 1962. When school started again in January1963, we had two teachers ... I had the upper grades and was the principal. The school board for this school had determined that it was too much work for a single person and hired an experienced teacher for the lower grades. I was only there one year, and then I taught in Scarborough for a year and married your grandfather.

With three children and a new house in the Caledon East area, I started volunteering in the Special Education class, and also did lunch supervision/hall/schoolyard duty at the school where your father, aunt and uncle attended. I later started to do supply teaching there and continued that for about 7 years until we moved to Stouffville.

Teacups



Teacups, hanging on a wall in my son's living room.  I wonder if they mean much to him ... I wonder if he even knows where they came from.

Teacups on a wall

 

The top one and the bottom one come from his father's family.  I think the top one was given to me by Aunt Alma when she moved into Parkview, and we bought her house.  The bottom one was prized by his grandmother, Sue Burkholder.  It is one of the Royal Albert Provincial Flower series, and is the Ontario Trillium. 

 

The two middle ones come from his mother's family.  They were the special cups that my mother and father used every Sunday, fall, winter and spring, for our 'evening tea' ... supper to most Canadians.  Dad used the bluish one and Mum used the pink.  Throughout the winter, particularly, this would be in the living room in from of the fire.  There would be something like "Cheese Dreams" -- made by putting a slice of cheese on a slice of bread [or half a hamburger bun] and part of a rasher of bacon on top and then broiling them until the bacon was cooked and the cheese melted -- to eat with gherkin pickles, and then dessert. 

 

Lois and I would have hot chocolate from the very fragile Japanese pot with the little cups and their delicate handles.  We would marvel at the way you could see right through the china.  I am sure there was a story being told by the pictures, but we never knew what it was.  I wonder where that pot and the other three cups are now.

 

Teacups ... just china on a wall.  Teacups ... memories are made of these.

Some Happenings in 1939

Found a box of photos ... thought I would share some with you.  Grampa was on his own this summer but I don't think he is in any of this group of pics ... maybe the next post will be of him.

Mum spent a lot of time with the "Falkys" ... the family if Ern, Gladys, Norma and Ruth ... and dog Nigger ... that summer, as she seems to be with them, and other, in the photo pile.   Here are a few:

Hard to believe that this is May when they went to Niagara Falls.  The first photo is Mum and Auntie Glad, the second is Uncle Ern and Norma.  Not my "real" aunt and uncle, but the ones that we saw the most as we grew up.

 



Evening of Ern's Ordination, June 1939



In June of 1939, Uncle Ern was ordained to be a minister of the Gospel. I am not sure where they were living, nor what church he then was involved with ... guess I will have to find out!

 I don't know where they went in Bala for vacation, but there are lots of photos of them in the water, on the dock, near the lake, and even washing the car.

More photos to come at a later time.

And What about Grandpa?

   Joseph Childs met Sophia Weston while she was in New Zealand. Followed her back to England where they were married. Edna tells me that they lived in a house named Dollis Hill Lodge on Dollis Hill Lane before they came to the USA in 1910. They used to walk across Gladstone Park to meet their father coming home from work on the train to Willisden Green. He was an inventor and thought he would do better in America. He had a Mr. Kneeland as a business associate. This business venture fell through before it really got started. Grandpa came to America about a year before he sent for his wife and family. They arrived on the "Majestic" - a White Star Liner - October 9, 1911 and went to Rochester NY.

   They moved to a rented house on the Morgan farm in April 1912 on River Road between Lewiston and Youngstown NY. Later they moved to a house in the village of Lewiston. From both homes the three girls were sent to a Catholic Girls' School (Stella) about three miles out of Lewiston.

   Grandpa Childs obtained financing for his project - a wind turbine for making electricity - from Mr. Norrie. When he couldn't market sufficient of them to make the project pay, both Grandpa and Mr. Norrie lost their money. To keep body and soul together and to put food on the table Grandpa also worked as an accountant for companies like Curtis and Pierce Arrow.

   Grandpa started a mission while in Lewiston and Mr. Norrie's daughter, Ruth Black of Leesburg FL, [now deceased] tells me that while their family had been faithful Presbyterians before this mission started, they used to love to go to the mission meetings Sunday evenings. She especially loved the rousing singing, so different from the Presbyterian service.

   When his parents died in New Zealand in 1919 Grandpa thought he would like to live on a farm and so bought one (Lakeside) in 1922 just outside Port Robinson with the money he received as his inheritance. Every morning Edna would have to get up early to harness the horse and put a bag of feed in the buggy so that Margaret and Norah could ride to Niagara Falls to go to high school.

   In December of 1922 the family were living at 60 Louisa Street in St. Catharines, according to the US Immigration Deptment Border Crossing records.

   He was still installing his windmills and from Nov 1920 to May 1922 was in Conley, near Danbury, Connecticut taking with him first Mig (Margaret) and then Edna to look after him. She got a job as a telephone operator there and then attended Bethel Bible Institute of Newark, NJ, graduating in 1924.

It was at Lakeside, in 1927, that Grandma and Norah were shot accidently shot by a hunter while they were on the steps of their home talking to a neighbour. Grandma had one bullet pierce her neck and lodge in her lung. Norah had six bullets in her legs, three which could not be removed.

   Not long after that incident they moved from the farm. Norah went to Hamilton first and then later came to Toronto to work for the Excelsior Life Insurance Company, and in the Toronto City directory for 1933 Joseph G. Childs is listed as a civil engineer, the householder of 262 Gerrard St. East.
Grandpa died 28 November 1940, sitting in his arm chair in the living room.  Norah told me that he did not respond to her call, and she went in and found that he had peacefully passed away.  From the Toronto Tellegram , 29 Nov 1940:  CHILDS, Joseph G. -- Suddenly at Toronto on Thursday, November 28th, 1940, Joseph G. Childs, husband of the late Sophia Rebecca Weston and beloved father of Edna, Margaret and Norah, in his 71st year.  Resting at the Chapel of McDougall and Brown, 1491 Danforth avenue. Service in the chapel 4 o'clock Saturday. Interment, St. John's Cemetery, Norway.